Skeptical Eve and Curious Dennis sat down with some cheap nachos and watched the news.
“Do you have an aversion to using real cheese when you make nachos?” Eve asked Dennis with a slight pull of annoyance in her voice.
Dennis was proud of his nachos with the sick sauce from a can. “Why does it always have to be like this, Eve? Why do even simple questions from you sound like…an interrogation. Why must you judge everything I do?”
Eve smiled and handed Dennis a napkin. She could have wiped off the small glob of cheese formed near the corner of his mouth, but it was more fun to watch him take huge swipes across his face to seek and destroy it.
“I am superior, Dennis. Don’t forget that. I know what’s best. And when it comes to nachos, I personally don’t like feeling as if I am sitting in some damn bleachers at a basketball game. I prefer real cheese. This is not rocket science.” She picked up the remote and changed the channel to CNN.
“Whatever,” mumbled Curious Dennis.
Eve raised herself higher on the sofa cushion. She turned her steely blue eyes into the core of the soul of Curious Dennis. He swallowed hard and tried to act nonchalant. He looked quite chalant.
“Did you just say whatever to me, Dennis?” asked Eve with the stinging edge of Joan Crawford’s voice burning at the core of her remark. It was so very Joan Crawford-ish.
Curious Dennis shifted away from her on the sofa.
Eve bored him with her Joan Crawford gaze. “Did you say whatever? Dennis? Is that what you said?” She stood up and flung her napkin to the floor. “Answer me!”
“Sorry…….sorry……so sorry…” squeaked Curious Dennis.
“Never again, Dennis! Never again will you say whatever to me! And never again will you make nachos using this puke sauce! No more puke sauce!” She smiled and sat down.
“Okay, now that we have that under control, let’s watch the news.”
Dennis set his nachos on the table and looked morose. If he could be anywhere else, he would go there. But he was stuck so he just sat there and looked morose.
“Why so morose?” asked Eve.
Eve reached over and bopped him in the shoulder. “It’s good we have the whole puke sauce thing fixed, right? Right, little chick pea, dancing ferret, honey cake?”
Dennis nodded. Deep in his heart he knew he would never be able to eat nachos again. That experience had been ruined for life. But that was a small price to pay for basking in the glory of Skeptical Eve, world-class detective and solver of unsolvable mysteries. Yes, losing nachos forever was a small price to pay.
Dennis smiled a huge fake grin and said, “No more puke sauce.”